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When I was in elementary school, I once passed by a courtyard on the side of the street and saw a sign hanging on the door, and there were two words on it - "lover".
At that time, I had a lot of thoughts in my mind, I guessed that this should be an irregular place, so I gently pushed the door in, but before I had taken two steps, two big wolf dogs suddenly rushed out from the side......
On the way to the hospital for rabies vaccination, the host kept shaking his head at me and said, "It's all written 'Shen Jin', Shen Jin, you are stupid, you still go inside!" “
I cried and said, "Big brother, I thought it was written about 'lover'. “
Hey, you're a fucking talent! ）
My girlfriend and I were dating in the cinema and the first time I kissed her, I almost threw up because I wasn't used to the taste in her mouth.
I said to her, "Let's stop kissing in the future, okay?" ”
She said, "Good! ”
When I was wondering, she said to me, "I can't stand the smell of garlic in your mouth, I'm vomiting sour water." ”
I was so embarrassed that the whole movie theater laughed
My nephew hit a vase and two bowls yesterday, and when I saw that my mother was still smiling, I couldn't help it: "When I was a child, I would be beaten when I hit one thing, and you didn't say anything after Guoguo hit three things, it's not fair!" My mother is more angry than me: "You hit something bad and ask you who did it, you don't mean a cat or a dog, we don't have anything, I beat you because you have a low IQ!" Seeing that people Guoguo took the initiative to come to me and said, 'Grandma, I accidentally broke something, don't be angry, or you hit me, you can be happy'. ”
My wife bought a dog, and when she had nothing to do, she took the yuan and let the dog smell it. The husband felt very strange, so he asked, "Wife, what are you doing here, asking the dog to pick up money on the road for you?" The wife smiled mysteriously: "You'll know later!" A few weeks later, my husband's private money was gone. 
Say whatever you want, it's not a touch screen.
A buddy went abroad to study, and we all went to see him off.
When his girlfriend in love said goodbye to him, his girlfriend touched his face and said nothing in tears.
After a few minutes, the buddy said to his girlfriend, "Just say anything, this is not a touch screen." ”
Send it to me. When I was a child, honest people always made stupid mistakes, one day the school notified the elimination of the four pests, and each student was limited to two and a half days to go home and catch ten flies and come back to hand them in, but I understood that these two and a half days were not used to go home to class, so I concentrated on fighting flies at home every day, and I hit nearly 100 flies. I was thinking about going back to school to be praised, and everyone thought about the rest of the story, and I became a celebrity at school!
Fa Xiao strictly forbids his girlfriend to have a blue face, and he quarrels with his girlfriend for this. I went to mediate and asked him: why is it so old feudal? He said angrily: Lan Yan? Mix a little yellow and it will turn green in no time! I was speechless.
On his first day in kindergarten, my son found out that there was a playground in the kindergarten. When I was taking a nap, I saw that the children were asleep, and while the teacher was resting, I sneaked to the playground to play ...... with clothes and shoesThe teachers woke up to find him gone, and they almost went crazy!
The wife asked her husband in a snort: "Do you like my tenderness like water, or are you obsessed with my ** body?" ”
The husband was embarrassed for a while, and then replied, "Don't make a fuss, I like your sense of humor!" ”
When I was in junior high school, my table mates were very clever, and the teacher often asked him to run errands and get things.
One day in math class, the teacher asked him to go to the office to get a compass, he went, but he didn't find it. He thought that he wanted to draw a compass in order to draw a circle, and if he could draw a circle, it didn't have to be a compass. So he went to the cafeteria, borrowed a pair of tongs, ran back to the classroom and said to the teacher: Tie chalk and you can use it.
But the teacher looked at the tongs and laughed himself......
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