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I am familiar with myself, and when I was in high school, the homeroom teacher's Chinese class was very boring, so I liked to chat with my tablemates. Later, the head teacher transferred me to the same table and changed to a table mate who liked to sleep, and then the guy never slept in class, and we chatted happily. Then the head teacher changed me to a classmate who was serious and basically didn't speak, and then within two days, this classmate didn't listen much to the class, and talked to me very much.
Eventually, the homeroom teacher transferred me to the middle ...... of a coupleLater they broke up.
The teacher is really a teacher, make the best use of everything, persuade them for half a year and they didn't break up, sat at a table with me, and broke up in less than a week. Later, both of them were admitted to college, and I ......Still making up for it!
Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to meet my parents for the first time, and I was extremely nervous.
During the meal, the future father-in-law drank two more glasses, then took my hand and said: "Xiao Li, I see that you are very confident and broad-minded, and you must become a great weapon in the future, and I will rest assured that my daughter will be handed over to you." ”
Hearing that I was so happy, I hurriedly asked, "Uncle, how can you see this?" ”
The uncle took another sip of wine and said meaningfully: "Look at you looking like this, and you dare to chase my daughter, it shows that you are not a simple person, and you have something extraordinary." ”
Woo, this is not very hurtful, and it is extremely insulting! 」
One full ticket, one half ticket. A female passenger said. The conductor looked at a boy beside her for a moment and said, "He must be twelve years old, please buy a full ticket for him." "Hey, I've only been married for ten years, how can he be twelve? "Madam," said the conductor, "I am only responsible for the sale of tickets, and I do not want to answer your personal questions." ”
My son is in the second grade of primary school, one day the teacher assigned homework to make a fruit platter, in fact, we all know that this kind of manual homework can not be completed by children independently, in order not to embarrass the child, I asked the chef in a star hotel to help carve a carrot table, and said that in order to do it like a primary school student to do a rough fishing. As a result, when the whole school was evaluated, he saw the fruit of the half-human-high ice sculpture phoenix, which was transported by cold car!
Father and son sell meat.
Father: "When customers come to buy meat, they have to say more nice things, so that they can always sell more." ”
The son nodded.
After a while, a customer came to buy meat, looked at it and said, "This pig skin is so thick, it must be a female pork." ”
The son did not forget his father's teachings and immediately said, "Oops! You're a connoisseur, you can tell it at a glance.
Shopping with my boyfriend, he just wanted to come over and hug me, but I pushed him away! He said he was surprised! Ask me what's wrong? I lowered my head and pointed forward. The boyfriend glanced at it, then lowered his head and whispered, "I'll go!" I didn't expect to meet my mother here. After his mom left, he came to hug me again, and I pushed me away! The boyfriend smiled and said, "My mom went away, and she didn't notice us at all." I lowered my head and said calmly, "My dad is behind you."
One night of self-study, I want to let the class leader at the same table have a foreign appearance, I drew a pig on the paper, and then pasted it on the back of the class leader, he was a fat girl at the back table, and laughed violently after seeing it, and the louder and louder the laughter, the class leader heard her laugh too loudly and blamed her and asked her why she kept laughing there, the fat girl couldn't help but smile and pointed to the class leader and said, "There is a pig ...... behind you.""When I reflected, my face was swollen!
I'm a girl, today my parents went out to buy groceries, and I got up very early, I was very bored, I started watching TV, and then I saw a, the program, which was a head-shaking dance, and then my hair was longer, I wanted to learn how to shake my head, and then I sat on the sofa in my living room, and began to play with my head, I don't know how long it took, my head shook a little dizzy, and then I just wanted to take a break, and the result was tragic, I turned my head to look, My mom and dad kept staring at me at the door, and they kept their mouths open, and they thought I was crazy.
Usually tutoring children is a wife's business, but today my wife has something to go out, so I will tutor my daughter with homework, that is an anger, I can't help but reprimand: "Why don't you even know such simple arithmetic?" ”
The daughter said, "Because I'm stupid!" ”
I said, "It's not good to study, people are lazy, and my room is like a chicken coop." What will you do in the future? ”
The daughter actually said: "Dad, you don't have to worry about this, I will be like my mother in the future, just find an obedient husband!" ”
Talent, really talent! 」
The wife and her husband quarreled, and the wife wanted to take her son back to her parents' house for the New Year in a fit of anger, but the son said that she wouldn't go, and the wife suddenly said angrily: "Rabbit cub, why don't you go to grandma's house?" Doesn't Grandma hurt you? ”
I only heard my son crying aggrievedly: "Grandma loves me very much, but grandma's mobile phone is not smart."
February** Dynamic Incentive Program
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