In intimate relationships, many girls are confused: does he care about me?
Even though he said he cared, there seemed to be a lot of small details that showed he wasn't making me feel safe. Sometimes they show concern, even when they say they don't care. It's puzzling, and I've had this issue repeatedly.
Actually, it depends on whether people value you or just treat you as a guest. The difference is very significant.
01 If I value you, I won't make promises easily.
There is such a sentence in the Zhuangzi: The eldest son and the woman meet under the beam. If the woman does not come, the water will not disappear and he will die holding the beam.
The story follows a man named "Obi" who promises to meet the woman he loves on the bridge. After waiting for a long time, the woman did not come. The water in the river gradually increased. He hugged the pillar. He waited impatiently to cross the bridge and finally drowned.
Actually, when I saw this story, I couldn't help but say that this hygiene is too stupid. Why not find a safe place to wait? Why waste your life?
Maybe it's because people in love often do things that are incomprehensible. The story is now used as a metaphor for keeping a promise.
If a person values you, he will value what he tells you. Because he doesn't want to cheat you, he wants to fulfill everything he promised you.
On the other hand, if he's joking and doesn't take you seriously, he'll say whatever he wants. Today he will give you an expensive gift, and tomorrow he will take you on a trip. In any case, everything he said was out of place. .Just a few words to get it. What's so hard about it?
So, those who like to listen to "sweet talk" should be careful. The other person may draw you one big cake after another, saying what you want to hear, just to satisfy you.
02 If I value you, I will be careful with my words and actions.
I don't know if you've ever heard the saying: "Generosity is friendship, prudence is love".
If a person is serious about you, he or she will always speak cautiously for fear of accidentally leaving a bad impression on you and losing the opportunity to get along with you.
On the other hand, if he doesn't really care about you, he'll be relaxed and even casual. Because he doesn't worry about losing you and sees you as indispensable.
That's why people who act so awkward in front of you are often the ones who really like you.
If you worry too much, you will worry about profit and loss, which will create fear.
If you're afraid, you can't be perfect. Either there are errors or omissions. The harder you try to perform better, the more confused you will become.
If you have a very perfect, thoughtful person in your life, you may need to pay attention to him. Is this person meticulous, like his hair, or can he take care of everything because he doesn't care?
03 If I value you, I will respect you too.
A lot of girls struggle with this question: if my boyfriend wants ** and I refuse, will he think I don't like him?
In fact, you don't need to think too much about this question, just ask yourself if you want it. If you are positive in your heart, take defensive measures, and if you are resistant in your heart, flatly reject it.
If a boy "kidnaps" you because of such a refusal, it is likely that he does not care about you and just wants to sleep with you.
Someone who really values you will respect you and understand you. He cares a lot about what you think in your heart and will not do anything to hurt you for his own needs.
All his actions are motivated by genuine love for you, not simply in pursuit of a specific goal. He takes the time to create beautiful moments for you, not just taking steps to achieve the goal.
Respect is the embodiment of equal treatment. He doesn't want to dominate the relationship; He wants to be with you as an equal. He respects your decision and is willing to walk with you on an emotional path that will benefit both of you.
People who don't value you just want the relationship to progress and do their best in the relationship and don't care how you really feel. Whether there is a future or not, is not within his scope.