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When the grandfather turned 60 years old and was about to celebrate his 60th birthday, the grandson asked curiously, "Why is 60 years old called the sixtieth birthday?" ”
Grandpa said, "That's called auspicious." ”
Two days later, his grandfather asked him how many points he scored, and his grandson replied: "Good luck, I took a sixtieth exam!" ”
Passing by the park today, I suddenly heard someone shouting, "Whose money is this, whose money is this?" “
At that time, I rushed over, but it was still too late, and a circle of people surrounded the person who had picked up the money, and they all said, "It's mine, it's my ......."“
I was inspired and cried and said, "Good Samaritan, which kind person, this money is I just took out to see my son, and suddenly it fell off, and I didn't find it for a long time, if I don't have this money, my son may die!" I don't want to live anymore. “
Then the people next to me didn't speak, they all looked at me, I looked at the eldest brother who picked up the money, the eldest brother reached out and gave me a bag of money, and said, "Are you okay?" “
I didn't have time to reply, so I quickly opened the bag and saw that it was full of dark coins.
It was embarrassing for me at the time, and I really wanted to find a crack in the ground to get into! 」
Oops, my mother, I'm laughing to death! 」
I was stunned to see an old man haggling in the antique city! Buy an ancient coin or something, and ask, "How much?" ”
Stallholder: "300,000." ”
Old man: "Is 20 yuan okay?" ”
Stallholder: "Add 5 yuan and take it." ”
The son took a piece of candy and put it in his father's mouth, and asked expectantly, "Dad, is the sugar sweet?" ”
Dad was so touched that he said with tears in his eyes: "Sweet! ”
The son said, "Then why don't the dogs eat it?" How many times have you spit it out? ”
Smash walnuts today. I smashed my finger and went to the hospital for medical treatment, and the doctor told me to do an electroencephalogram. I wondered, "Why do you have an EEG for a finger injury?" The doctor said, "If your brain is quicker, can your fingers be smashed?" "I can't argue with that.
Early one morning, there was the sound of firecrackers, and I don't know who opened a small theater. On the first day of screening, the advertisement wrote "The Story of Seven Men and a Woman", and there was a description: a beautiful woman fainted inexplicably, and seven men were forcibly dragged into the forest; Waiting for the ...... of the beautiesEveryone found it very attractive to buy tickets to enter. When the movie was shown, "Snow White" appeared on the big screen, and everyone left in a hurry. The next day, everyone passed by the small theater again and saw that the advertisement had changed. The ad reads "A Tale of Seven Men and a Woman" and states: Just like the days of the flowery girl and the seven men's stormy ecstasy (not "Snow White"). Everyone felt that it was more attractive this time than last time, and it was not "Snow White", so they bought tickets to enter again, and the words "Eight Immortals Crossing the Sea" appeared on the big screen!!
My son is six years old and still doesn't want to sleep alone at night. That night he pestered his wife again, and I said to him viciously, "Boy, there can't be a second man in this bed, understand?" ”
The son blinked and was about to cry, but his wife hurriedly persuaded: "Don't cry, son, your father is right, let's let him get out!" ”
We have a custom here, whoever marries a daughter-in-law, the bride enters the door, the women comrades in the village will go to pinch the bride's neck, and the main family has to give a red envelope. A few days ago, there was a young man in the village who got married, the bride was a foreigner, from the ancestral hall to worship the ancestors and came back into the house, the aunts and aunts who had been waiting there were swarming around, reaching out to pinch the bride's neck, the bride was startled, while shouting "flat you" while grabbing the hair of the lady next to her, and pressing the ...... on the groundBy the time the groom reacted, the eldest lady had already been sitting on the ground by the bride and screaming.
Bump into a pair of twin children and ask one of them:"What's your name? "
The child said:"My name is First. "
I said:"Then you must be my brother. "
The child said:"No, I'm a younger brother. "
I wondered, and thought to myself: My brother is called No. 1, so what is my brother's name? Top dog? Zeroth? ......
I really didn't understand, so I asked:"You are a younger brother and your name is No. 1, so what is your brother's name? "
Kids:"Uncle, you're so stupid, you can't even guess it, my brother's name is tied! "
tied for first place".It seems like this!
A buddy got married for the second time, and on the day of the wedding, his ex-wife sent him a bag of dates, a delicate bowl, a beautiful sun umbrella, and a lighter.
The buddy was quite happy to receive these four gifts, and thought: "Jujube, it should be an early child; bowl, it should be said that there is food to eat after marriage; umbrella, may mean that there is no wind and no rain after marriage; The lighter is a metaphor for the prosperous days. ”
When he returned to the new house in the evening, he put the four gifts together and was circled, isn't this TM "jujube bowl umbrella fire (morning and evening breakup)"?
Hahaha, the first time I heard about it, I laughed to death, I have to give your ex-wife a thumbs up!
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