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no.1
A friend set up a stall in the night market, and once he had an urgent matter, he asked me to help him look at the stall. An aunt came to see a pair of shoes and asked for the price, and I said, "100 minimum." ”
Aunt bargained for a long time 85 transactions, and when a friend came back when she was paying the money, she shouted from afar: "Auntie, if you take a fancy to these shoes, take them away for 20 yuan." ”
I'll never forget my aunt's hateful eyes.
no.2
Bored in the afternoon, I watched the two uncles playing chess at the gate of the community, playing very slowly, which made people feel very powerful. I didn't play chess anymore, I just thought, is it so powerful? I couldn't think of it for an hour, but one uncle spoke: "You go quickly", and another uncle also spoke: "I thought it was time for you to go".
no.3
My parents are half a hundred people, and they always like to quarrel. Some time ago I was playing in Shanghai, and I was playing there with my phone. My mom looked at me and said to my dad, "Look at how miserable your daughter looks, no one wants it." ”
My dad wasn't happy at the time, looked at me and said to my mom with disdain, "Cut ......."Tell you like your daughter is going to be upside down? I ......Recruit who to provoke.
no.4
The husband proudly said to his wife: "Today I went to the dry cleaner to do laundry, and the waiter gave three stars on the signature of the clothes!" ”
The wife was puzzled: "What does that mean?" ”
This shows that my clothes are of high grade and reminds workers to be careful and not to damage them. The husband said.
The next day, my wife went out with a neighbor to buy groceries and came back to help me pick up clothes, and when I got to the dry cleaner to pick up the clothes, she deliberately showed off and said, "It's the one with three stars and the highest grade." ”
The waiter quickly found the clothes, and while handing them to her, he smiled and said, "We put three stars on the sign to remind the workers that the clothes are dirty and should be washed ......several times."”
Ah, my wife originally wanted to show off, but every time the neighbor saw me, she taught me: "Lao Zhang, you love to be clean!" ’
It embarrassed me at the time, and I really wanted to find a crack in the ground to get into
no.5
A doctor at a neurological hospital asked a patient, "What would happen if I cut off one of your ears?" “
The patient replied, "Then I won't be able to hear you." ”
The doctor listened: "Uh-huh, it's normal. ”
The doctor asked, "What if I cut off your other ear again?" ”
The patient replied, "Then I won't see anything." ”
The doctor began to get nervous: "Why can't you see it?" ”
The patient replied, "Because the glasses will fall off!" Wouldn't you see nothing if you fell down? ”
Oh, what is this operation? 」
no.6
The young man was beaten by his cousin, who had just turned 10, and he said angrily, "No manners! How can a child hit an adult? ”
The cousin said, "You are not an adult, you are a bad youth!" ”
The young man was angry: "I'm bad? ”
The cousin said with a hippie smile, "Hehe, stunted." ”
no.7
When I was young, I was playing in the village and stole a watermelon to eat, but I was found by the melon watcher who had just eaten half of it. The owner of the melon found my dad and said that I was stealing the melon, and my dad picked up the stick and was about to smoke it, but the owner of the melon saw me crying, so he stopped my dad and said, "Forget it, child!" ”
After the owner of the melon left, my dad took out five cents and said, "Go, buy a bag of candy to eat, if I don't beat you, I will have to pay 10 yuan!" ”
no.8
was about to confess to the goddess, and asked his brother in a panic: 'How embarrassing do you say that if you don't succeed and are rumored all over the world?' ”
My brother patted me on the shoulder and said, "Don't worry,."What an embarrassment it is to be liked by you, who will spread it out".
I'll go, hurt my self-esteem, break off friendship!
no.9
When I was in elementary school, I loved to sleep in class, and I wrote an essay on the homework assigned by the teacher in Chinese class, the topic was (if I were a spider), and I asked my classmates after class.
At night, I racked my brains at home and wrote an article "If I Were a Pig".
Later, later I was on fire at school!
no.10
I asked, "Do you know where the Yongquan Cave is?" ”
A colleague said, "Isn't it just the center of the foot?" ”
Suddenly, a buddy who was playing with his mobile phone raised his head and said: "The ancients said that "Yongquan Xiangbao" kicked him? Or splash him with a face to wash his feet? ”
Netizens, what do you think? ）
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