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Hello everyone: Welcome to the 100% funny joke collection to make you (high) laugh for a day!
no.1
Xiao Ming hates writing essays the most.
One day, the teacher assigned an essay entitled "My Grandpa".
When Xiao Ming finished talking about this topic, he quickly opened the composition book and saw that there was an essay in it, called my sister. Xiao Ming changed all the sisters in it to grandfathers. The next day, the teacher read Xiao Ming's composition in class: "I have a lovely grandfather, he wears two pigtails and wears an emerald flower skirt, which is very beautiful..."”
no.2
A colleague sent a WeChat message saying, "Discuss something with you, okay?" ”
I replied, "Say it." ”
A colleague said, "I've been short on money lately, so I'm ......."”
I said, "I want to borrow money." ”
The colleague replied: "Yes. ”
I said, "It's easy to say, I'll be in charge if it's less than 10 yuan, and I'll discuss it with my wife if it's more than 10 yuan." ”
A colleague asked, "Aren't you unmarried?" ”
I replied, "yes, so it's not negotiable." ”
One word, absolutely! 」
no.3
Language test: There are two questions in it:
Three Stooges,
If you are poor, you will be left alone
As a result, the teacher laughed angrily for the student's answer.
Three stinkers, all with the same stench
If you are poor, you will be alone, and if you are rich, you will have a group of wives and concubines.
no.4
After the speech competition, the class teacher concluded: "When we speak, the language should be concise and artistic. Mr. Lin Yutang once said, 'A good speech should be like a girl's miniskirt, the shorter the better'. ”
One student raised his hand and asked, "What if you don't say a word?" ”
The head teacher said sharply: "Don't play hooligan!" ”
no.5
Thirty years old, I haven't gotten married yet, every time I have a meal at home, I am urged to find a boyfriend, and when I go home for dinner this day, my mother is urging me to find a marriage quickly, I said impatiently: "Mom, don't worry, you have to believe that there will always be someone waiting for me to appear." ”
Unexpectedly, my mother said: "What about the baby, don't look for it yet, I'm afraid that person is Lord Luo?" ”
no.6
Two fathers and sons discuss who is like whom one day!
The son said, "Why do you say that your son is like your father, but not like your son?"
Dad said, "Do you think, do you want to have a father or a son first?"
The son said, "There must have been a son first!"
Dad said: ?? You talk about it.
The son said: It was my mother who gave me the time, so you became a father!
Dad muttered in his heart: ......What a clever son!
no.7
Five-year-old sister and four-year-old brother took a bath together, and when my sister saw my brother's little **, she wanted to play, and my brother said angrily: "You played with your own, and you want to play with me again, no way!" ”
no.8
Li, an employee of the company's personnel department, was recently transferred to the public relations department downstairs. On this day, his friend called the original department: "Is Li here?" ”
Li's colleague replied: "He is no longer in personnel." ”
Friend: "Huh? When did he go? ”
Last Week. Friend: "I don't even know ......."Didn't give him a ...... ride”
Colleague: "It's okay, why don't you go down and find him?" ”
no.9
Take the bus for a day! There was a beautiful woman in front of me, and when I got in the car, I said to the driver who was driving: "I didn't bring any money, can I kiss you and put in a coin?" ”
The master said yes. The beauty kissed the driver and sat down.
The aunt in the back saw it clearly, and kissed the driver without saying a word, and then said, "Master, I didn't bring any money." ”
The driver and master were all scared and cried and said, "Nima, my daughter-in-law was joking with me just now." “
no.10
I have a buddy who is very tall and handsome, and when I traveled, I couldn't stand the urgency and rushed to the toilet. That's right, everyone guessed right, he entered the women's bathroom, and the uncle who guarded the door was very bad, pretending not to see it, and let him in. When we were expecting our buddies to be scolded and made a fool of themselves, a scene against the sky appeared, only to see a beautiful woman come out and shout to her friend: "Wow, a handsome guy who just went in is so handsome, I took a sneak peek and didn't bother him, for fear of scaring him and booing him."
Oh, and since there is still such an operation! 」
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