The best way to socialize is to take advantage of the Franklin effect.

Someone said, "90% of life's troubles come from relationships." ”

Another person said: "20% of the success in life depends on ability, and 80% depends on connections." ”

Obviously, in people's bones, they hate tedious socialization, but it is very contradictory to have to participate in socializing for the sake of a few taels of silver and the development of life and career.

For middle-aged people, social interaction and life, family, career, etc., are closely connected, and they need to be cautious.

So the question is, is there a way to socialize, not to contact frequently, but also to retain human affection?

When he was a member of the Pennsylvania legislature, he actively preached his ideas in order to win the support of more people.

In Parliament, there was a member of parliament who showed great prejudice, and Franklin did not want to wronged himself and curry favor with the other party.

Franklin knew that the congressman had a valuable book, so he wrote to borrow it from him.

The books were borrowed and returned, and when they were returned, a thank you letter was written.

At the next Parliament, the MP was much more enthusiastic and agreed.

From this incident, a routine can be summed up:"The one who helps you once, will also help you twice. To win the support of others, then ask him for a favor first, and there will be unexpected results. ”

This is the "Franklin effect" – it is better to give gifts to others and invite them to eat and drink than to give the right person a chance to help themselves.

Extending a bit, we will find that the best way to socialize can be broken down into the following categories.

Finding someone to help you can test people's hearts.

Many people go to ask for people with confidence, and in the end, they find that "asking for people is like swallowing a three-foot sword".

Some familiar people pretend to say a few words of comfort, and then step on you and go up, or secretly laugh at you in their hearts.

What's even more terrifying is that when you ask someone, the other party is fooling you and secretly calculating you.

At the end of the Qin Dynasty, Liu Bang and Xiang Yu fought for a long time, and in the end, Xiang Yu failed, and Liu Bang established the Western Han Dynasty.

Some of Xiang Yu's subordinates were desperate and had no choice but to take refuge in Liu Bang.

A military general named Ding Gong thought to himself that he had helped Liu Bang, and if he went to take refuge, he should be able to be entertained.

Once, Liu Bang was trapped in Pengcheng and said to Ding Gong: "How can two sages force each other? ”

Ding Gong asked the soldiers to make a way, and Liu Bang was out of trouble.

Liu Bang remembered the past scenes clearly, but for the arrival of Ding Gong, he was not ready to welcome him, but thought that Ding Gong did not follow Xiang Yu to old age, but made a wall grass, which should be killed.

In the end, Ding Gong was murdered by Liu Bang.

There's a familiar saying: "Don't overestimate your place in the hearts of others." ”

But how do we know that we are overestimating our place in the hearts of others? Always try it.

The best temptation is to ask the other person to help you once, so as to observe the other person's attitude.

The other party helped you very happily, which means that the previous favor was retained; If the other party doesn't agree to help, that is, you have a bad impression of him, and the favor is not retained, so it's better to stay away.

"Let people help" is to "throw stones and ask for directions". Although it is a little cumbersome, it can save your life at a critical time.

In social interaction, you should cherish the person who is willing to help, after all, in front of you, people's hearts are soft, and there is a certain space to accommodate you.

Moderate trouble, can promote affection.

In social interactions, we will find a very interesting phenomenon: if a friend is willing to lend you money, then he will also lend you money a second time; It is also in vain for the person who rejected you the first time to ask him again.

The "threshold effect" also tells us that if we ask for a small favor for the first time, and ask for a big favor for the second and third times, we will most likely succeed. This is also in line with one of our sayings"The first is born, and the second is ripe." ”

Many people are afraid of trouble, but they don't know that appropriate trouble can deepen the impression and give the other party a chance to think.

Let's seeDing Gong's nephew Ji BuAfter Xiang Yu was defeated, he was listed as the target of hunting by Liu Bang.

Ji Bu hid in the house of the chivalrous Zhu family and dressed up as a peasant.

The Zhu family found Xiahou Ying, the founder of the Western Han Dynasty, and said: "Ji Bu and you are almost the same, but each is its own master." If Ji Bu escapes and goes to the Xiongnu, he will become a difficult opponent. ”

Xiahou Ying understood and persuaded Liu Bang to be generous and recruit talents.

After a period of time, Liu Bang no longer pursued Ji Bu, and promoted Ji Bu to be an official.

Look, Ji Bu troubled the Zhu family, and the Zhu family troubled Xiahou Ying, and they all got help, and life went smoothly.

There was also a person named Cao Qiusheng in the Western Han Dynasty, and in order to make friends with Ji Bu, he asked the minister Dou Changjun to write a letter of recommendation. It is logical that Cao Qiusheng befriended Ji Bu and Dou Changjun, which is really killing two birds with one stone.

If you have been in the society for a long time, you will encounter such a situation: the more afraid of trouble, the more you can't avoid it.

When dealing with troubles, it is actually the process of making relevant people. The trouble was dealt with, and the favor was retained.

"Trouble" is often an "excuse and excuse" for making friends with a person.

Let's say your child is going to a certain school, but you don't have a car to pick them up. So, you ask the neighbor who has a car to give it away, and then give the neighbor some fare.

After coming and going, your relationship with your neighbors becomes strange, and even becomes familiar, and even becomes friends. At least they won't continue to be awkward.

People who are not afraid of trouble, everyone can really solve troubles, so as to achieve gains.

Do you see it clearly? If you want others to be kind to you, it is not that you take the initiative to give benefits to others, but that you let others help you.

If you bite the bullet and wronged yourself into the dust, you will only be looked down upon.

To win a person's sympathy, it is better to give a person the opportunity to show their worth and reflect their demeanor.

A good social relationship requires "heart attacking", eliminating some clichés and superficial things.

The original goal of any kind of social interaction is to hope to be helped. Don't hide it, let the other party help you once.

All in all, the people who help you are the most precious.