The husband filed for divorce and the wife did not want to leave, and the specific methods for repairing the marriage mainly include the following points.
First, stay calm, consider the other party's request, and clarify the reason why the husband wants to divorce
In marriage and gender relations, the needs of men and women are different.
Women need more preference, attention, tolerance, companionship and care.
In contrast, men often need to be respected, understood, supported, recognized, and worshipped.
Emotion does not solve the problem, but rather exacerbates the conflict. When you are emotionally out of control, the other person may also be emotional.
If you want to keep the other party, you need to control your emotions first, and use a calm and stable attitude to coax the other party and infect their emotions.
1. First of all, negative emotions cannot achieve any good results.
Even if the wife does not agree to the divorce, under the current marriage law, filing a divorce lawsuit twice may result in a forced divorce.
2. There should be trade-offs to meet the needs of your husband and improve your experience of getting along.
Sometimes all he expects is to spend some quiet time with you.
When you calm down and weigh up, you will also feel hesitant about the decision to divorce.
At the same time, you need to take active action to repair the conflicts between the couple, improve the atmosphere of the marriage, and strengthen your own ability to manage the relationship between the sexes
For example, emotion management, communication skills, avoiding cynicism, reducing the desire to control, and so on.
These actions will greatly improve the comfort of getting along with couples.
3. Boost your compound chips.
Although the emotional foundation is a kind of bargaining chip, it needs to be used skillfully.
Children and joint property can also be a bargaining chip, but they must be used sparingly.
Compound chips are reflected in your "social value" and "family value".
Men prefer you to be a "woman who is both independent and knows how to be self-worthy", not just an independent woman.
Clause.
2. Figure out the basic contradictions in life and fix the emotional loopholes.
In reality, if a man is not willing to divorce you until now, then the following possibilities exist:
He expects a lot from you, but the disappointments make him feel completely hopeless and hopeless.
He made many compromises in his marriage that seemed more attractive.
For the sake of this marriage, he gave many precious things.
For your relationship, the other half used to be more inclined to the "values" of not getting a divorce, but now they are adamant about getting a divorce.
This shows that on an emotional level, they have long gone beyond their original "values".
Therefore, this shows that you are in this marriage always:
1. Flawed framework:It is easy to misunderstand the contradictions between husband and wife, misunderstand the needs of men, and even some people will misunderstand the marital relationship.
Overall, your business model is like a black hole, devouring each other while constantly devouring yourself.
In the end, the so-called marriage and love are just a reluctant ordinary life, and it is meaningless.
2. The degree of emotion is very seriousWhen an individual's "sense of crisis" outweighs his or her own "vested interests", while rationally considering the pros and cons, people may consider more emotional factors, thus handing over decision-making power to emotional processing.
A lot of people win when they quarrel but lose in love.
If you deduct 20 points for winning each fight, do the math, if the total score is 100 points, then how many points are you minus now?
The more negative factors there are, the more serious the challenges become.
However, this is not an irretrievable situation, and with the right approach and patient perseverance, it is possible to overcome the difficulties.
3. Loss of feminine charm:After entering the marriage, can you still maintain your "self"?
Many women are so busy taking care of their families, children, and husbands after marriage that they forget to pay attention to themselves.
They no longer groom themselves as carefully as before, no longer pay attention to body shape management, no longer think about how to develop their careers, and are just busy with trivial household chores every day.
I know that everything you do is out of sacrifice for the family, but I would like to ask, what man would marry just to find a family nanny?
Compared with these efforts, a man wants you to have a heart-warming appearance, to be gentle and considerate when he feels depressed, and at the same time to have a rich inner world and an independent and wonderful soul.
Clause.
3. Enhance emotional connection and strengthen interaction and communication.
Perhaps you've read a lot about how to save a marriage, and these methods always emphasize "compromise" and "show weakness".
In this case, you first need to evaluate your feminine charm in your marriage and find the source of the conflict.
Next, this doesn't mean that you have to completely deny yourself and keep lowering your standards – as long as you don't get divorced, I will meet all your needs.
Marital relationships are often similar to springs, where when one partner is strong, the other is relatively weak;
When one side is weak, the other side is relatively strong.
However, if both of you are strong, this one"Springs"will collapse;
If both of you are weak, this"Springs"It will lose its vitality again.
Therefore, you need to be strong when expressing your opinions, but also be careful to use tactful expressions.
If he thinks you have a bad temper, then you should improve your ability to manage your emotions, learn to control your emotions and express your thoughts and opinions in a gentle way.
Especially in the next argument, instead of blaming and venting your emotions as you did before, keep your emotions calm, be able to calmly calm the other person's emotions, and express your demands clearly.
Don't simply tell the other person, "I've reined in my bad temper, you see. ”
Emotional association is the process of expressing personal change, restoring trust, and re-establishing the expectations of the other person.
Therefore, in the common process of marital salvage, we are able to assist the trainee to achieve the basic goal of emotional salvage within 40 days and rekindle hope in marriage.
Of these, most of the time is spent on:"Re-establish trust"with"Re-establish expectations"。
Because these two points are the cornerstone of maintaining the development of marriage.
When it comes to interaction, we need to focus on two aspects at the same time, namely:"Frequency of interactions"with"Quality of interaction"。
Increasing the frequency of interactions is a step-by-step process and cannot be rushed.
At first, you should have about ten minutes of small talk, and you can ask about necessary topics such as daily life, work, and children.
Once the relationship has become more stable, talk about each other's subjective feelings.
When you're comfortable, it's time to talk about feelings.
I'm Madoka Xiao, an emotion analyst for Broken Mirror Reunion, follow me, and if you don't know how to repair feelings, you can talk to me.
Marital affection