Relationship breakdown
Why do former friends become old friends? During the Chinese New Year, the people I don't know are the closest people yesterday. ”
I don't know how many people were hurt by his lyrics in this song by Eason Chan?
To be honest, when I first heard this song, it was like my heart was torn apart.
It was clearly displayed in front of me, and it reminded me of the self who was afraid of breaking with someone else, and was desperate to compromise at all costs.
Perhaps, everyone's destiny will have a short bloom.
People go to tea and cool, people go to tea and cool, fear is useless, you can only accept it.
A lot of relationships aren't as important as you might think
He read a very real Weibo:
When the poster had just graduated, he was accepted by a very large company.
This is his first time at work, this is his first time at work, and he is desperate to get a foothold in the unit.
From the very beginning, he worked hard to build relationships with everyone in the company, and he never turned down help from other colleagues at work.
Sometimes, if someone offends him, he won't turn his face with the other party, after all, everyone is new, everyone is in the same department, how awkward it is to meet.
He endured as much as he could, and in the unit, he and most of his colleagues became "brothers-in-arms" friends.
It's just that this friendship is something he thinks about too much.
When he got married last year, he sent out invitations to everyone in the department, but very few people attended.
Especially after he was transferred, several people who used to "call brothers and sisters" gradually lost contact because of their respective circles, and there was no longer any friendship at all.
Some people even deleted his WeChat directly.
A sneer appeared at the corner of Long Chen's mouth, emotion, it was not what he thought, he was just a stranger.
In real life, most of us have the misconception that we are good at deceiving ourselves, packaging certain relationships well, and treating them as important.
But in fact, there are some relationships that we think are very important.
And we are just staying in our lives for a short time, and there is no need to be friends.
When he walked out of this world and out of another world, he realized that between him and her was just a very ordinary relationship.
Some people are gone, some people are gone, this is human nature. What should come will come, and what should come will come.
Life is big, and we will never live for someone and someone.
Don't overestimate your feelings and don't expect too much from others, so that you can be less hurt unnecessarily.
Any relationship that makes you compromise is wrong
Let's get back into the world, and that's the best gift. ”
It's a goodbye to a friend who was once so important.
Qingya and I only met because of writing, so we got to know each other very quickly.
However, the longer I spent with him, the more tired my heart became.
Some time ago, I couldn't contact her because of something very wrong with my life, and by the time I wanted to say a few words to her, she had already blacklisted me.
For a moment, I don't know if it was the turning point in my life that made me sad, or if she blacklisted me and made me sad, I hugged the number one and cried.
At that time, he was still a little reluctant. I cried, held back the grievances in my heart, and asked, "Why did you block me?" ”
It turned out that I couldn't cry or laugh, it turned out that I hadn't contacted her for too long, and she felt that I didn't care about her at all.
The two added WeChat again, but the relationship between the two became more and more awkward.
I started to get scared, I had to take her mood into account in everything I did, and during the Spring Festival, I would buy her some of my favorite books, and I would take her to meet her ......
I thought that if I did this, she would be able to be with me, but who knew that she would put me on the blacklist again.
This time, although I also regretted it a little, I had a relaxed and happy feeling in my heart, and I finally didn't have to be so compromised.
Friendship between adults will one day become deeper.
But at some point, her understanding deviated and gradually faded.
It's not a bad thing to be separated.
Maybe you haven't lost a real friend, just a fake one.
The wrong person is the wrong person, and your compromise can't change it. The essence of maintaining a relationship is to make yourself happy, not to make yourself suffer.
A relationship requires a lot of effort, but it does not necessarily succeed, which is wrong.
Never be afraid of any relationship breakdown
On the road of life, have you ever compromised and compromised without a bottom line, just afraid of a relationship breakdown?
Not long ago, Ah Xin had a complete falling out with one of her best friends.
Ah Jing has also been friends with her friend for six or seven years, but she didn't expect that she would turn against her for the sake of her child.
Friends' children love to beat people, and they will fight if they have a slight disagreement, but Ah Xin's child is a shy child and never resists.
At first, Ah Jing didn't think it was normal for two children to fight, and she wouldn't interfere.
In other words, she was afraid that her own interference would make the relationship between the two people worse.
She thought she could get along well, but who knew it would get worse.
The friend's child turned into a brawl from the beginning of the fight, and his friend didn't realize that there was anything wrong with it, but let his child beat people.
Another time, she saw a friend's son and slapped her son.
At the time, she said, she really wanted to whip herself because she felt guilty for sacrificing her feelings and neglecting her children.
She knew that she was a timid person, but this time, she was not afraid of anything, and turned her face directly with her friends and left with the child.
He very much agrees with a line from the movie "The Courage to Be Hated":
If you are worried about the end of a relationship, then you will live for someone else, which is a life without freedom.
When interacting with others, if you have doubts in your heart and are afraid that one day you will be abandoned, it is tantamount to giving your initiative to others.
The more fearful something is, the more it will be bound, controlled, hurt, ......
We are worried that a relationship will be ruined, so we unconsciously impose a task on ourselves, which is to maintain a harmonious relationship.
When a relationship is about to end, the "mission" suddenly appears in your mind and becomes the "protector" of the relationship.
But, on the other hand, do other people worry about the breakdown of their relationship as much as you do?
The maintenance of feelings is a two-way street, to put it mildly, people are not afraid, what are you afraid of?
Bringing a relationship to an end is the beginning of your true love for yourself.
For the rest of his life, relatives are estranged, love and hate at will
In this life, I have seen many people, but only a few can really be together.
After all, there must be a limit to the feelings between people, the deeper the feelings, the shorter the lifespan, and the lower the wisdom.
If you care too much about a relationship, you are afraid that it will be scattered, that it will be broken, and that you will regret it.
We give in to fear, trying to maintain our relationship, and as a result, we are bound by this relationship and cannot get rid of being a better person.
He liked what Professor Zhou Guoping said: "In dealing with interpersonal relationships, I have gradually figured out a criterion, that is, mutual respect and closeness." ”
Don't give in to yourself, don't please others, don't be obsessed with the coming and going of a relationship, and treat each other with affection, everything goes naturally.
Let's cherish ourselves in the days to come, go with the flow, go with the flow, and that's enough.