1. Chatting with my husband and wife, I said, "Husband and wife have lived together for a long time, eat the same, and live together." Over time, they will become husband and wife. He said, "Oh, no wonder I'm getting uglier and uglier!" ”
2 Mr. Gray travels to Macau and stays in a small hotel. The owner of the hostel was very stingy and provided very little food every day. One evening, when Mr. Gray sat down to dinner, he saw that the plate on the table was wet, and complained, "This plate is wet, can you change it for me?" The innkeeper replied nonchalantly, "That's your soup, sir." ”
3 female colleagues asked Xiao Li: "Xiao Li, how is your relationship with your daughter-in-law?" ”
Xiao Li: "Let me tell you this, my wife and I are people who have experienced life and death together!" ”
Female colleague: "Then the relationship between husband and wife must be very good, right?" ”
Xiao Li: "I mean, we had several quarrels, and we almost died together!" ”
Female colleague: "....
4 Xiao Ming was late, and the teacher asked him why. Xiao Ming said: "I dreamed that the teacher was giving a speech, which was so exciting, so I couldn't wake up in time. After hearing this, the teacher was happy and said with satisfaction: "Okay, okay, you can go back to your seat!" ”
5 Mother: "Electric toys and 100 points, which one do you choose?" ”
Xiao Ming: "100 points".
Mother: "You're still quite motivated."
Xiao Ming: "Dad said that if I score 100 points in the test, he will give me electric toys."
6 all said that college is to eat, drink, have fun and fall in love, but I was managed to death by my girlfriend (I went to a university with her), and I had to apply for approval to buy a pack of cigarettes, and I thought that she was all worth it for her, but I broke up after graduation, and my university was gloomy, and now I feel that I have studied in vain.
7 When I went to play at a friend's house yesterday, her 5-year-old son quietly ran to me and asked, "Auntie, do women get pregnant when they sleep with men?" "Yes! What's wrong? "It's over! "It's over! "It's over! "What the hell is going on?" "Yesterday at noon, the teacher asked a girl to squeeze a bed with me to sleep. I continued to tease him: "That's not like you're going to have a baby soon!" Aren't you happy? "Happy ghost, my parents work all day, and we both go to kindergarten who takes care of the children!" ”
8 In his tireless pursuit of love, a man set a new record for paperwork, and he delivered more than 800 romantic love letters to his lover in a year. His pen is full of tender promises and sweet promises, but love is unexpectedly captured by the faithful bearer of love letters, the day after day, rain or shine. After a special delivery of affection, the postman became the only one in the lady's heart, and our literary saints could only lament the iron rules of love that were faithfully passed on at their wedding.
9. A man secretly played with his mobile phone during the day, and immediately played with his mobile phone again when he got home after picking up his children from work. The wife couldn't bear it anymore and finally broke out, scolding: "Play and play! Play every day! When will you find out that the child is not your own! When the man heard this, he was furious: "...I've been suspicious for a long time, and you finally dare to admit it! Wife: "Why don't I dare admit it!" You go to the living room and see, is it your son who you picked up from kindergarten!?
10 Mom: "Xiao Ming, have you picked up money 10 times this semester?" ”
Xiao Ming: "No, I only picked it up once".
Mother: "Then how can there be ten honor cards that are worth collecting gold?" ”
Xiao Ming: "I exchanged the 100 yuan I picked up for 10 copper plates."
11 Mom: My son called ** to his father and asked him to come back for dinner!
Five-year-old son: Dad doesn't pick up**, it's an aunt who picks up!
An hour later, Dad came back ......
Dad: Wife, what are you doing with a washboard?
Mom: Kneel! Dad: What's wrong with me, wife?
Mom: My son tells Dad what he did wrong!
Son: Today's Dad's ** is picked up by an aunt!
Dad: What did Auntie say?
Son: The number you dialed is on a call!
Teacher 12: "Students, why can rockets go to the sky?" Who can answer this question. After a long time, no one answered. After Xiao Ming, who had just dozed off, woke up, he stood up as soon as he asked the classmate next to him: "Teacher, this question is too simple." The teacher was surprised: "Then please answer!" "Teacher, you think the rocket's butt is on fire, can it not jump into the sky? ”