Under the ideological logic of "money can make ghosts grind", more and more people have turned the amount of money into a standard for measuring the success of life.
However, where does the money come from? A lot of people don't get it.
As the saying goes, "Home and everything prospers." ”
Family is the most primitive circle of life, and it is also the starting point and destination of life, in which people's fortune, fate, and confidence are all in it.
When we strive for family harmony in Wei Xu, we will always find many unpleasant factors that make the family lose cohesion.
The most tragic thing is that the family has money, but there is no happiness, and the thought of going home is uncomfortable.
It is really necessary to stay away from or change the "blame-type family".
Accusatory parents can't raise promising children.
The female netizen "Jiao Didi" said: "My dad has accused me of my mistakes since I was a child. Later, I got married and met my mother-in-law who blamed everything. Now, they are not interested in doing anything, no matter how hard they try, in their eyes, they are imperfect and cannot be tolerated. ”
Her reading grades are not bad, and when she was in elementary school, she could score more than 90 points in Chinese. Father always loses his temper, why lose a few points? The house next door is bright and bright, and it can be scored full marks.
She went out with her classmates and came back a little late. I thought that my father would wait at the door, looking anxious. But the situation is - the father scolded his head and face, thinking that his daughter was too self-loving.
She works with her husband and earns a monthly income of **1000. The mother-in-law said indignantly: "There are not more than 10,000? ”
When her son was born, she exhausted all her strength and carried the pain. The mother-in-law blamed her, she was too vulnerable. The older generation of people has an easy baby.
Under all kinds of accusations, she became less and less confident, and she was trembling at home, afraid that she would not do well. Dignity has also been trampled on, and parents can poke at any time.
Socrates said, "A person's success depends only on his self-esteem and self-confidence." ”Why do parents turn a blind eye to a series of excellent things when children do a series of excellent things, and they have to blame that little mistake? This is because the pattern is too small, and it is also an excessive pursuit of perfection, which needs to be reflected.
Accusatory siblings will only create internal friction in the family.
The ancients said, "Filial piety is not better than brother." ”Everyone does their best, filial piety to their parents, and also helps other siblings, and the family will naturally become rich. After all, everyone's money is a lot of money when it accumulates together.
When you are good to your parents, and your siblings accuse you of not doing enough, then it will be chilling; You get rich, you have a career, and you lend money to your brothers and sisters, but they think you are stingy and borrow too little.
Let's say your brother wants to open a shop, and you lend him 100,000 yuan. But my brother thinks that you should borrow 150,000, and you are deliberately reducing 50,000 yuan to embarrass people.
Hearing your brother's accusations must be very uncomfortable. Next, you may not lend money to your brother, how can you do more thankless things?
As it turns out, you can't please all your siblings. Everything you did, after being blamed, was heartbroken.
A blaming partner who makes people disappointed in their marriage.
Cartoonist ** Yong said: "When lovers fall in love, they can do anything, and when they get married, they can say anything." ”In love, each other will show their best side and try to hide their shortcomings. Even if there are spots on the face, they will also be covered with rouge powder.
Men who have no money will borrow money, take women to high-end restaurants, and buy jewelry and clothes.
After getting married, life is often a mess of chicken feathers, and even debt.
Husband and wife are of the same heart, and their profits are cut off", such a logic, into married life, then husband and wife can work together to quickly change the family situation.
The husband and wife started the accusation mode, which means that they are turning over old accounts and not getting used to the present, and the marriage has become very bad since then, and the husband and wife are incompatible.
It is very difficult for couples whose hearts are not together to make money. Even things like childcare and housework can create conflicts and cannot be coordinated.
For example, if a woman wants to return to her parents' house with a child, the man accuses her of being too nice to her mother's family, so the husband and wife cannot walk together. The child will get to the point where the parents are arguing.
Accusatory children will only become more and more unfilial.
Why are other people's parents rich and wealthy, but their own parents are poor?
Why do other people's parents have a big picture and can be kind to all their children, but their own parents are so partial, and you are the one who is least favored.
Come to think of it, you really have a lot of reasons to blame your parents.
Seeing all the ugliness of your parents, you will be very reluctant to be filial to your parents again. What's even more terrifying is that you're ready to cut ties with your parents.
Filial piety comes first. A person who is not filial to his parents loses the backing of his family and the confidence to socialize with the outside world.
Parents are never perfect. Wealthy and powerful parents have less time to educate their children; Poor families force their children to go to school, but they can't afford the high fees; The parents who helped take care of their grandchildren worked hard, but the food they cooked was not good enough.
Writer Wang Meng said: "Praising others is often affirming oneself, blaming others is often reflecting one's own weaknesses, laughing at oneself is often mocking others, and carrying a sedan chair for others is also lifting oneself." The above is the sharing rate, or borrowing light effect. ”Don't be resentful in the face of the accusatory family, but make positive changes.
First, find the reason for everything from yourself. When you are blamed, see what you are doing wrong; When blaming family members, see if you speak inappropriately and have a biased view of others.
Second, keep a certain distance from your loved ones and slowly fade some small shortcomings. If you get into an argument, shut up and walk away. Adults should take the initiative to separate the family and not mix with the big family.
Third, tolerate the imperfections of your loved ones and allow them to make mistakes. Then know how to be grateful, and magnify their kindness to you.
Harmony is something that needs to be managed.
People are destined to be bad, so take care of your mood, your heart will be smooth, and everything will be smooth.
The family, who is kind and angry, can also recover the lost money.