1The family arranged a blind date for the cousin, and when they met, the woman had a good impression of him and said shyly: "I don't mind if you don't have a house, no car, no savings, as long as you are good to me!" ”
As a result, the goods came: "You can't have a giveaway in your stomach, right!?" ”
Then, the marriage is yellow!
2 Last night, I took a walk after dinner, and met a beautiful woman to talk: Handsome guy, are you bored alone, do you have fun? Me: Don't play, I'm fierce, you can't accept the way I play. Beauty: ......The old lady debuted for 5 years, and I haven't seen any formation, let's say, how to play? Me: Play for nothing! Beauty: Get out!
3There was a big man who liked to watch the excitement, and one day he found a large number of people watching the excitement on the street, so he rushed up to see it. Because there were too many people, he couldn't squeeze in, so he had an idea and said, "Please let me go, I'm the family of the deceased!" Everyone flashed out of the way, and he rushed in. As soon as you turn around, you run. Why? It turned out that it was a pig that died.
4 one-day film and television class Teacher: What do you think is the most touching cartoon in China? Xiaohong: Hulu baby, they are not afraid of hardships and dangers in order to save grandpa, and the snake demon teacher: Mmmm, yes. Xiao Ming: It should be the big-headed son and the small-headed father, Teacher: Why? Xiao Ming: Dad cerebral atrophy, son hydrocephalus, they are still strong and ......&nbs
Teacher: You get out!
5 I got up early today to make breakfast for my son, and my son knew that my cooking skills were not eating, so I said that I finally bought him his beloved football and said something, and he tasted it.
I asked him how it tasted.
The son said, "I still don't want football." ”
6 There was a drunkard who was very addicted to alcohol, and if he didn't drink half a pound every day, he couldn't live at all. But since he went to a liquor store to buy alcohol to drink, he has now quit drinking. On this day, he bought a gift and happily came to this tavern to thank him. The shopkeeper asked in surprise: "You buy wine, I sell wine, what is there to thank." The drunkard said with a serious face: "Of course I want to thank you!" If you hadn't gradually mixed water into the wine you sold me in the past few years, how could I have quit drinking now! Now, I can get over my addiction with a glass of water at home. ”
7Do you want to marry my sister? Sit here and think slowly!
Many years ago, I was eating ice cream in front of my house, and a child in the distance looked at my ice cream and swallowed his saliva, I saw that he was pitiful, so I called over, gave him a stool and said, come and sit here and watch ...... slowlyMany years later, I went on a blind date and went to the woman's house, she had a younger brother, and her brother asked me: Do you want to marry my sister? I nodded, and I was wondering what he meant, when he pointed to the couch behind him and said, "Come and sit here and think slowly!" ......That's when I remembered, this was the little boy back then!
8. Every time, I fight wits and courage with the courier brother. One morning, he stood downstairs at my house and called: Are you home? I said lazily, "No, you can leave the courier in the supermarket." "I thought I'd wait until I woke up to get it. The little brother said: "This needs to be signed by myself, or you can find time to go to our company to get it, and the address is ......."As soon as I heard this, I immediately jumped up from the bed and rushed downstairs, only to see the courier brother with a wicked smile: "I knew you were at home." ”
9 One day, Zhang Yuanwai asked the master to build a sheep house, and after it was completed, he asked the master to say some words of blessing. When the master grew tall and big, he said, "I hope your sheep will grow as big as I do." ”
Zhang Yuanwai was very happy to hear this, but the master muttered again: "It took me more than 30 years to grow so big!" ”
I was bullied by a dog early in the morning at the age of 10......The road out of the community is relatively narrow, and when I go to work, a second ha in front of me seems to have fallen out of love and walked alone in the drizzle. I couldn't get past it, so I honked my horn. Mr. Erha, probably feeling disturbed by his loneliness, turned to look at me, cocked his hind legs, and poured a pee ...... on my hoodAnd then gone!
11Most of your troubles come from not having money to spend.
I don't believe it, when I am sad, I rush to the mall to buy ten lipsticks, eight sets of clothes, seven bags, six pairs of shoes, five bottles of perfume, and then meet three or four friends for a luxurious meal, will I still be in a bad mood?