1. The old girl of the second goods has recently been poisoned by the costume drama, and her parents are not there at night, so I steamed the buns and fried a side dish and then called the old sister for dinner.
She took a thin needle and inserted it into her bun, then pulled it out and said, "The needle is black!" Poisonous! This palace knows that you intends to murder this palace! Come on, drag it out and cut it off! ”
I spit on her directly, Xingzi, this is a bean paste bag, you idiot!
2 Today, I took an 8-year-old son to the orchard to buy cherries, tasted a cherry and said: "This cherry doesn't smell like a fart!" I haven't responded yet, and her son said, "It's not spending money to buy fart, of course it doesn't smell like a fart."
3 The teacher talked about the ancient poet in class, mentioned Tao Yuanming, and asked the students: "What dynasty is Tao Yuanming?" One student replied, "Eastern Jin Dynasty." The teacher asked, "What is his masterpiece?" The student replied, "The Story of the Peach Blossom Spring." The teacher then asked, "What are the characteristics of his poems?" The student replied, "His poems are very distinctive, such as his poem "Planting Beans in the South Mountain", which is very representative. After hearing this, the teacher corrected: "The poem you said should be "The Afternoon of the Hoe Harvest Day", the author is Li Shen, not Tao Yuanming. The student suddenly realized and said embarrassedly, "It turns out that I made a mistake, thank you for the teacher's correction." ”
4The young man went to the Zen master and asked, "Is there a trick to making a fortune without having to work?" The Zen master took the young man to the pigsty, and the young man suddenly realized, "You mean that I want to steal these pigs and sell them, and I will be rich, right?" The Zen master said, "I mean, you're a pig's brain, and if you have such a good thing, I'll tell you more?" ”
5 On the subway, a man felt that the girl opposite was very familiar, so he kept staring at him.
The girl was bored and asked, "What are you looking at?" ”
The boy said, "I think you are very familiar, like my former girlfriend." ”
The girl said angrily: "What do you mean, I am your former girlfriend." ”
The boy was stunned ......Ha ha!
6. A friend bought a car just after getting his driver's license, and the car was not very proficient. I had to take me home after work today, and after going through N starts, the car finally started on the road. The drive along the way was quite smooth, and when I was about to get near my house, this cargo suddenly said to me: "Brother, you see that I am driving so hard, when I get to your door for a while, I won't stop, I will drive slower and you jump down, and then run two steps fast to help me close the car door." Listening to him say this, I suddenly remembered a lyric: It rained so hard that day, and you laughed awkwardly!
7 Last month, on a business trip on the train, I chatted with strange passengers around me, I ate a melon seed, and said: "I know what this is called, no, five-spiced, yes, that's the taste." I ate another one and said, "Well, this one is creamy, yes, natural cheese made in oil, especially fried!" The traveler next to me was shocked by my erudition and said, "Big brother, if you are really greedy, I will give you some melon seeds to taste, and don't pick up the leftover melon seed skins we eat!" ”
8Two men met in the hospital, and one man said, "We temporary workers are really unlucky, we don't usually recruit people, but we have to take responsibility for accidents!" Another man said, "I'm in the same situation as you." The man in front of him asked, "What, you're also a temporary worker?" "No, I'm a spare tire. ”
9. Isn't it just to eat more junk food when people live in good health?
I got up at six o'clock in the morning, and after taking a shower for the gym, I tore open a packet of instant noodles and cooked them with great interest. Isn't it just to eat more junk food when people live in good health?!
10 mother's stunned strange marriage urging routines.
My mom didn't know who she was learning to play chess with, so she had to play a few games every night with her.
It's been about a week, and my mom hasn't won once.
In every game, my mother wants to eat my "elephant" first.
My mother often said: Why don't you have a partner? There's no object!
Although I won every game, I felt bad!
Mom, your marriage urging routine is quite novel!