Everything in the world is impermanent, and we must realize ourselves.
Plato said, "Life is never easy, and even if you live in a happy and smooth situation, you will encounter difficulties that you will overcome." ”
In time, in a flash, we have grown into adults. I met more and more people and things, and I was annoyed.
Always respond to everything in the outside world.
Therefore, dealing with things coldly and seeing people with hot eyes is the top self-discipline of adults.
Cold treatment: easy to do.
Cold is not only about temperature, but also about attitude, scale, and curvature.
If you can't calm down, small things will become big things, good things will become bad things, and nothing will cause trouble.
In the Spring and Autumn Period, Duke Qi Huan was very old, and the advisors around him also left one after another. Ji Diao and other traitors took control of the palace, put Qi Huan in the inner palace, and imprisoned him.
The palace maid Yan E climbed over the wall and entered the inner palace, wanting to take care of Duke Qi Huan, but without saying a few words, Duke Qi Huan passed away. She was scared and wanted to get out, but the fence was high and there was no ladder inside.
If she doesn't get out of the inner palace, the ** minister will see it, and the consequences will be unimaginable, and she will even be framed for murder.
In the chaos, she shed tears, and then "touched the pillar with her head" and gave her life.
From the perspective of ordinary people, there are many ways to climb over the walls of the inner palace: move stools, tables, climb windows, etc.
But when a person is as anxious as an ant in a hot pot, there is nothing he can do.
There is a good saying: "When people are impatient, their IQ is zero, and this is when they make the most impulsive decisions." ”
In contrast, Ling Mengchu of the Ming Dynasty was much calmer. He did many scientific expeditions, but he was unsuccessful, and his family became poor because of it.
In order to transfer his life, he agreed with a number of bookstores to write some manuscripts and submit them. Soon, he wrote "The Surprise of the First Moment", and it sold very well. Therefore, he added a book called "The Surprise of the Second Moment".
A correct decision made him a best-selling author, fame and fortune.
Psychologist Ronald has talked about the theory that a stormy anger will not last more than 12 seconds, and when the storm is over, it will be calm. You can see how important 12 seconds are.Calm down for a minute may not find a solution to the problem, but it will stabilize your emotions and turn things around. If you have someone around you, you should ask, what should you do? Other people's advice may not be right, but it will provide ideas, at least it will give you a little time to come back to your senses.
You never know what you're going to encounter in the next minute, but you can always be ready for the unexpected. Accidents are all "expected", so there is nothing to panic about.
When it comes to people's hot eyes: harmony.
No matter who the other party is, there is certainly nothing wrong with giving an eager look.
Regardless of whether the other party is famous and wealthy, you make him "superior", which reflects your own humility and also shows the charm of socializing. In case the other party is a rich man or will become a rich man in the future, it doesn't matter, after all, he didn't crush him arrogantly.
Giving enthusiasm to others is one of the ways to "lift people".
Mr. Lu Xun praised Zhuangzi: "I see through with cold eyes but I have a warm heart, and I have a gentle and generous heart." ”Zhuangzi is cold on the surface, but in fact, he sees the world thoroughly and treats people very closely. He went to borrow grain from the Marquis of Jianhe, and after being refused, he did not get angry, but told a story of "dried fish".
When he talked about the Tao with others, he did not say any great truth, but told others that the whole world is full of Tao, even in the clay and tiles.
For a while, his friend Keiko was worried that Zhuangzi would take his place, so Zhuangzi hid himself to dispel Keiko's concerns.
Never think of yourself as a noble person, and don't think of anyone as a very low person. You'll find that your connections are getting better and better.
With a hot eye, there are no heinous people in the world, and villains are also people who can be reformed.
Why do you want to look at people with hot eyes? Its root is the social model of "burning incense in a cold temple".
People change, and so do relationships. Today's poor may be tomorrow's rich, and you can give him a thumbs up and say a good word. Even if the poor are always poor, they will still remember your encouragement.
As an adult, it is impossible to give up all socialization. Being alone is temporary, and being alone is about better integration into society.Therefore, there is nothing wrong with being friendly to anyone you meet. Just like the poet Haizi said"Stranger, I bless you too. ”On the contrary, if you look down on others, you will suffer in the end.
Ma Zhou, the prime minister of the Tang Dynasty, worked as an assistant teacher under Bozhou Thorn Shi Daxi before he made his career. Ma Zhou likes to drink, has been reprimanded many times, and has lost face.
Later, Ma Zhou went to Chang'an City, became a big official, and met Da Xi again. Da Xibai fell to the groundHe said: "If you have eyes, you don't know Mount Tai, and you want to beg for forgiveness." ”
Fortunately, Ma Zhou is generous and thinks that he has been frustrated, which is the process of growth.
It is worth mentioning that enthusiasm should have a measure and be free to let go.Just like Lin Yutang said"Life is harsh, and a warm heart is not enough to cope with the environment, and enthusiasm must be connected with wisdom and courage to avoid the destruction of the environment. ”Treat others warmly, provided that you don't hurt yourself and don't cause trouble for both parties.
From the point of view of noun interpretation, there is also a saying for "hot eye", which is an organ on the snake's body that is used to sense the changes in the heat energy around it, so as to accurately catch the prey that emits heat.
It can be seen from this that treating people with a warm eye is an unfathomable science. further can have a good relationship with people and walk hand in hand; Taking a step back allows you to keep yourself sharp – and you have to be on guard.
Zhang Yanghao, a composer in the Yuan Dynasty, said: "If self-discipline is not strict, how can you serve the public?" ”When we become adults, we have to learn to rely on ourselves, and when we become excellent, we can resolve the things we encounter and let the people around us help us.
Life is ever-changing, and it is nothing more than a combination of people and things.
In case of trouble, change calmly, and keep the clouds open and see the moon.
Don't be annoyed by people, be tolerant and harmonious, and have expectations for the future.
May you and I take care of ourselves, go well, and be safe.